I have absolutely no idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try. When I was 6 years old my father left to go to Bangkok to finish his PHD in Asian studies. My mother recently told me that she believes that he had an affair during the time he was in Bangkok. He missed my 7th birthday, and sent me a T-Shirt about Thai Kick Boxing. That Christmas holiday, my mother, my sister and I went to Singapore to visit my mother's relatives and spend Chinese new year with them. The plan was, my father would come visit us, and fly back to Australia with us 2 weeks before school started. Instead He told my mother that he didnt love her anymore, and flew back to Bangkok for another week. My parents tried marriage counceling, but it failed, so my mother filed for a divorce. Up until I was 12 My mother had full custody of me and my sister. One night he called me and told me that he had successfully divorced his second wife ( of whom I believe he had the affair with when I was 7 ). But of course I was over-joyed when I heard this news and immedietly asked him if I could live with him, and he said yes. He left for Bangkok again a week before father's day this year. But it turned out he didn't have enough money for his trip, so he is currently staying in Perth with his mother. I enquired about staying with him, because for all I know this could be the last time I see him.. This is what he said to me through msn: Michael says: I plan to go to Myanmar in March/April 2009. I don't plan to stay in Perth and care for you. Michael says: If I did stay in Perth and cared for you I'd have to find another place to live. I'd need to buy furniture and kitchen things etc. It would cost a lot Michael says: Then if I wanted to go on a long retreat next year, I'd need to get rid of all that stuff. Michael says: If you came here, it would not be possible for us to stay with Grandma. She has even less tolerance for lazy selfish people. Michael says: I would not want to be a servant for a lazy selfish person who was not learning from me. I have a lot to offer. You behave like a bulemic. Even though I provide support and good advice, you don't want it. You skim off and vomit the nutrition to remain spiriutally poor. Michael says: You want me to postpone my further development to be your servant? I tried to explain to him how I have changed and matured since he left, but he wouldnt take it in.. I dont know what to do >_<
Family - 2 Answers
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1 :
Sweetie dont do anything else.. stay with your mom and be happy with her.. Try to not even think about a person who doesn't even cared or care for you.. Move on, you are still young.. Trust me;you will see him again because he will be back for your forgiveness and I hope is not too late for him, because then you might be the one who will tell him to back off.. Take care
2 :
Write the guy off and get on with your life. He sees you as an inconvenience, rather than his RESPONSIBILITY. He's hopeless. This guy is no role model. He does not have a lot to offer, as he seems to think. All he can offer you is lessons in how NOT to be a father. A young man probably needs male role models in his life though. Do you have a grandfather, an uncle, an older cousin, a teacher, anyone? Or could you get a "big brother*"? I would stay in close contact with someone like that, and rely on them, rather than your "father." *In the US we have an organization called "Big Brothers". They pair up fatherless children and teens with upstanding men in the community who act as role models, confidants, etc. Basically, things you should have a father for. They take you out every week, and spend time with you, and do "guy things". Do you have anything like that where you live? If so, you should apply.
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